I’m generally pragmatic, sometimes to a fault, but at heart I’m a romantic. As long as my life is happy and content, all I ask is to be able to share that with someone I love.
The person I love is Krissy. She is beautiful, kind, thoughtful, witty, hilarious, uncompromising, logical, considerate – in short, perfect. I knew early on that I wanted to marry her. I can’t pinpoint when, though I know it was after meeting her family and seeing what they meant to her, yet before we moved in together. Maybe it was after she met my family, and I saw how she gets along with everyone and fits in seamlessly. Perhaps it’s because she reminds me so much of my grandmother, who was both extremely practical and a bit of a jokester, not willing to take life too seriously. Regardless of when, I knew this was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
When Krissy and I first broached the topic of marriage, I was at first elated to hear her reservations – it’s an antiquated institution that has little to do with feelings and more to do with property rights, plus there are whole classes of people not even permitted to take part. With divorce rates, right-wing fundamentalists, the overly religious ceremony, and bans on gay marriage, why even get involved with that mess? The more we discussed, the more adamantly I felt we should boycott the entire tradition!
But at the back of my mind, the romantic in me held onto the positive ideals that marriage symbolizes. Two people expressing their love and commitment publicly, for family, friends, and each other. Any other arrangement I could imagine – domestic partnership, co-habitating life partners, permanent boyfriend/girlfriend – all seemed hokey and insufficient. At the end of the day what I wanted was to be married to the woman I love.
So it was with no hesitation when I contacted my mom to ask about the diamond that my grandmother had left for me. I knew she had intended it to go to whomever I decided to marry, and I took that responsibility seriously. Though I knew Krissy didn’t want to be officially engaged, she still deserved a proper proposal. And it was with great honor that I surprised her with an important question on an unseasonably warm and bright February morning.
Fortunately she said yes, and shortly thereafter we started plotting our elusive getaway, a fitting representation of our relationship - unique, different, deeply personal, and above all meaningful, even if in a less than traditional way.